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Each person has a mother. This may seem like a simplistic statement; however it is true. Some people are raised by the woman that gave birth to them and others are raised by surrogate mothers. No matter which situation describes your experience, one of the most complicated relationships is that between mother and child.

Most of us love our mothers and will do anything to make sure that she is happy. We correlate our mother with warmth, tenderness and understanding. For us mothers day presents are a joy to shop for and there are many ideas available. The first year that I was able to give mothers day presents, bought with my own money, was very special. I still remember asking my father to take me to the mall. I spent hours going from store to store looking at all the possible mothers day presents that I could think of. I finally settled on a bracelet for my mom. I remember her being so excited to open the box and her praise at the selection I had made. Today I know that I could have given her anything and her reaction would have been the same for she was responding to the love that the mother day presents represented rather than the actual gift.

Now that I am married I realize that not everyone has a warm fuzzy relationship with their mother. My husband’s mother is a very distant cold woman. She has lived a hard life and loves to play the role of martyr. She is very difficult to buy mothers day presents for because no matter what is purchased she will find some fault with it. If you buy an article of clothing it is the wrong size. Or if it fits it is the wrong color. I have tried buying gift certificates, but then she complains that it is too difficult to get to the mall. I have decided that it is not worth my effort to look for ideal mothers day presents for her. She is the opposite of my mother. With my mom any gift was appreciated and received with the love with which it was given. For my mother-in-law any gift is not going to be appreciated because she likes complaining more than anything else in life. As I have come to terms with these two women I understand why so many therapists have made a living helping people come to terms with their relationships with their mother’s. I think it was therapists that came up with the idea of mothers day presents as a form of job security.

Many people say that it is not the gift  but the thought that counts, but I say that if you put enough thought into a gift, the gift will be great. When I buy gifts for people, I don’t mess around. I don’t go out at the last minute and find something or other that will fit the bill. Instead, I search endlessly until I find the perfect item. To me, it is just a matter of basic consideration. Whether I’m buying birthday gifts, Christmas gifts, or gift for a wedding anniversary, I put a lot of thought into it. Mothers Day presents, however, have always been an unusual hassle.

For most moms, finding the appropriate Mothers Day gift is no problem at all. There are always normal mom things to get. A Mothers Day present could be a nice piece of jewelry, a beautiful sweater, or a gift certificates to the local mall. A lot of people also like to get books as Mothers Day presents, and some moms even like tools and gadgets that are more traditionally reserved for fathers. My mother, however, is a difficult woman. She is stubborn, hardheaded, and obtuse. She is impossible to shop for, and she will not give you any hints. She expects the best from her Mothers Day presents, but she won’t tell you what that is.

When it comes to Mothers Day presents, us kids start looking months ahead of time. We can hardly do anything else. It is a day that all of us dread. If she doesn’t like a Mothers Day present that she gets, she will not out and out tell us, but she will certainly hint at it. She remembers every one of the Mothers Day presents that she has received for the past 10 years, whether she likes it or not, and who gave it to her. If I didn’t know better, I would even swear that her opinion of her children changes based on the Mothers Day presents that they buy. I think she has her favorites every year, and I think her favorites change based on who’s gift she appreciates the most.

Basically, no matter how you go about it, buying Mothers Day presents for my mom is a bust. When I get her something extravagant, she thinks I am just trying too hard. If I get her something simple, she thinks I’m being stingy.  There is no pleasing some people!